Dads & Depression: The Recap

“…in some ways, depression made me a better soldier.” ~ Dad & Depression attendee

On  Saturday, June 24, 2017, Speak Away the Stigma held it’s first event, Dads & Depression.  It was held at the Cumberland County Public Library, downtown Fayetteville, NC.  Three mental health professionals were invited to speak and educate the attendees on how depression looks differently in men vs. women, coping skills for men, and how Dad’s depression affects children.  Not only were the speakers informative, they engaged the audience, made them laugh, and integrated real-life scenarios into the conversations to ensure they were relatable to the audience.

Richale R. Reed was the first speaker and after a brief statement about how mental illness had impacted her own family at an early age, she turned her attention to the men in the audience.  “Depression doesn’t look a whole lot different in men”, she stated before she asked the men to share what Depression had been like for them.  Three men stood up and shared a piece of their story, and that was unexpected.  Anger, isolation, and a FullSizeRenderchange in sleep patterns were some words used. In this town full of soldiers and military pride it was thought-provoking when a Veteran admitted, “…in some ways depression made me a better soldier“.  He went on to discuss how when he was no longer a soldier he almost felt he had no purpose.  Richale then discussed how stress can lead to depression, why awareness and your words matter, and why deciding how you want to deal with depression is an important decision that should be made with the help of a therapist.

Travis Andrews was the second speaker.  He too agreed that stress can lead to depression, stating that “...no one was born saying I’m going to be depressed or I am choosing this.”  Travis discussed depression and the single dad as well as coping skills, and he educated the attendees on how family relationships, dysfunction in the home, and adjusting to changes increases stress levels.  Travis asked the audience to define “a man“, and touched on how trying to live within society’s definition does more harm than FullSizeRender_1good.  He also pointed out when men have issues they will often turn to men around them for advice, which he likened to “getting back surgery for a broken arm.”   Why not enlist the help of a professional stranger Travis asked, explaining your most troubling and difficult times should be discussed with someone who won’t judge you, who is bound by confidentiality and whose only interest is helping you resolve your issues.  Also, physical activity was one of the top ways Travis suggested Dad’s cope with stress, stating that simply going for a walk does wonders for the brain.

Joanna Nunez was the final speaker.  Her topic, how Dads depression affects the children, was of particular interest to many in the audience.  Anger, isolation and sleep patterns came up again and Joanna stated that it is common for adults to carry the pain of Dad being angry all of the time or the feelings of being ignored when Dad isolates FullSizeRender_2himself from the family.  She gave a reminder that children not only hear what you say but they also emulate your behavior, so it is important to “…not just discuss behavior but feelings as well.”  Joanna and a dad from the audience role played different reactions children have to “Dad’s voice” and she discussed how “..a child’s reaction tells a lot about the about the parent”.  One piece of information Joanna presented that was a shock to many people is that the effects of Dad’s depression on children were not studied until 2011, studies prior to that centered around only the Mom.  While the studies with dads may be new, the fact that children can be predisposed to mental illness if mom or dad has a diagnosis is well documented.  Joanna suggested that Dads take the time to remember what is fun for them and do those activities.

So what do you do if there is a man in your life that may need some help?  Richale, Travis, and Joanna all agreed that focusing on dad’s behavior is the best way to suggest help.  Statements like “You are angry so see a therapist”, are not likely to be successful.  Instead, bring attention to constant yelling or the change in sleeping patterns,  ask what could be causing the behaviors, and suggest talking to a someone may be a good idea.   Dads are often a child’s first friend and the first person they look up to.  If you are a dad or know a dad that may be depressed reach out to them and to see if they need to talk.  Six million men are affected by depression every year so if you are one of them, rest assured you are not alone.

Psychology Today, your health care provider or even your primary care doctor are some places you can find a therapist in your area. Follow @SpeakAwaytheStigma on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter to find out about our next event!


“Men are the backbones of our families…” Q & A w/Richale R. Reed MA, LPC, LCAS for Dads & Depression Event

On June 24 Speak Away the Stigma is hosting Mental Health Conversations: Dads & Depression.  Therapist and author Richale R. Reed will be one of the speakers.  Read more about why Richale decided on a career in the Mental Health field, what lead to the stigma around Mental Health and why she is speaking away the stigma of depression.  The event will be held in Fayetteville, NC at the Cumberland County Headquarters Library Downtown from 2:00pm-4:00pm.
Richale R Reed
Hometown: Linden New Jersey  Current city:  Raeford, NC
Education:  Masters in Professional Counseling Liberty University
Title or Name of Practice:  Richale R Reed PLLC aka CateRRRflies Lifework

 

Q:  Why did you choose a career in Mental Health?

Due to my mother’s battle with mental illness, it greatly molded my life.  I too have battled mental illness, specifically, depression in the past.

Q:  What makes you a great Mental Health Professional?

A:  I love what I get to do everyday!!

 

Q:  Why do you believe there is a stigma surrounding mental illness and mental health?

A:  Simply because we don’t talk about it…we were taught that it’s taboo!  I know I was! I  learned that there was no one there to listen as a child and it’s easy to keep that idea as an adult but I choose not to believe that.

 

Q:  Do you think it is possible to eliminate that stigma?  If so, how?

A:  Forums like the one you are creating. We need a safe place to share our hearts.

 

Q:  In your opinion what is the biggest obstacle when it comes to men getting care for their mental health?

A:  The stigma that they are weak for seeking help is a major barrier.

 

Q:  What is a common myth people have about going to therapy?

That its for “crazy” people when its for a any person who simply needs support.

 

Q:  It is estimated that Depression affects 6 million men per year, how would you say that impacts communities or families?

A:  Men are the backbones of our families so it would naturally negatively affect the family on all levels and the community.
I choose to Speak Away the Stigma of Depression because…….
I am now a part of this community and this is a way to share my support for it and my love for all people using the gifts I have been given. I want the men to represent on June 24th and let’s speak away the stigma!!!